Certain situations that happen in our childhood get engraved in our minds and stay with us forever. It’s hard to tell what makes one memory more important than the other, but some experiences seem to have greater chances of defeating oblivion. Emotional experiences, good and bad, are more likely to persist in our memory. Also, we tend to hold on to things that are meaningful to us, and that contribute to the development of our personality. The actions of parents can contribute greatly to the making of their kids’ memories.
Attentiveness matters
Children are likely to remember situations in which they were the focus of your attention. Every time you gave up doing something and went out to play with your kids, or simply had an interesting conversation with them is of great significance to them. Children know that their parents love them all the time, but during these precious moments they can really see (and feel) how much you care for them. Take a break from your daily chores whenever you can to be with your kids, because they grow up really fast, and the time spent together is what really counts.
Feeling safe, but also learning to cope
Kids are sensitive and they need to feel secure and protected. The times when parents stepped in to the rescue and calmed their kids with hugs and comforting words are the ones that are most likely to be remembered. Although children can always count on their parents, there will be times when parents won’t be able to help them, and kids will retain these memories as well. However, they won’t focus on you not being there, but rather on the achievement of handling things on their own. These will be happy memories of them becoming independent and managing things on their own for the first time.
Joint activities
Children value experiences they shared with their parents, and memories made during these occasions will last for life. Eating ice cream in the park, doing sports together, taking family trips, or learning to knit using colorful yarn bowls together are some of the precious moments that your children will hold dear.
Dealing with stressful situations
Parents serve as role models for children, and they’re the ones that kids look up to. Your reaction during times of crisis might stay in their minds and influence the way they cope with tough situations in the future. Pay attention to your behavior during times of stress – whether it’s just dealing with a busy schedule, or with something more serious like an illness or loss of a family member. Children will remember the way you handled stressful situations and the words you used to calm them down and reassure them that everything’s going to be alright.
Praise and constructive criticism
The way you talk to your children in their early years is extremely important for shaping their character. Positive reinforcement increases their self-worth and confidence. The task of parents is also to reproach and discipline when needed, but even this should be done in a positive manner and with understanding. Be sure to show your love and support, whether it’s praising or criticizing.
The relationship with your partner
Kids gain insight into love and marriage by looking at their parents and learning from them. It’s important to always treat your spouse with love and respect and to show nurture and mutual support. Your children will pick up these cues and grow up wanting to build and maintain the same type of relationship.
Establishing family traditions
Although children get excited by new things, they also indulge in routines. They enjoy the sense of familiarity as it makes them feel secure. Establishing family traditions like movie nights, regular family vacations, or baking cookies together for Christmas will contribute to the making of special memories your kids will cherish even as adults.
Certain childhood memories are easily recalled. Paying attention to your words and actions and how they affect your children will make wonderful family memories and it will make you a better parent.
